Sometimes Moving Forward Means Letting Go of What’s Familiar

What getting older, a hamburger in Pigeon Forge, and downsizing have in common.

Getting older makes your body do really weird things.

Especially as a woman.

You lose energy.

You can’t tolerate things like you used to—foods, alcohol, annoying people. 😂

And it got me thinking.

When life brings us changes, we adapt.

The birth of a child.

The death of someone we love.

Kids going off to college.

Divorce.

A new job. Retirement. Moving. Becoming an empty nester.

Whatever the life event is that causes the change, we all do one universal thing:

We adapt.

I recently decided that I’m going to get a little more serious about my health journey.

I’m not unhealthy by any means, but I know I could afford to lose a few pounds. Not for vanity's sake, but for my health.

I know that as I get older, maintaining muscle mass and a lower body-fat ratio will probably serve me a lot better than just letting everything go.

And honestly, I want that badly.

When my kids have children, I want to be around to spend time with them.

I want to be active with my grandchildren. I want to hike with them and ride bikes and play.

I don’t want to be the granny sitting in the rocking chair just watching.

My two boys were very lucky that they got to spend time with their grandparents. They have some amazing memories of spending time at their grandparents’ home for Thanksgiving, Christmas with their cousins, or just a normal Sunday visit.

But that time was shorter than I would have liked.

Both of their paternal grandparents passed earlier than they should have due to various diseases—colon cancer, liver cancer and bladder cancer.

I often think that if they had changed a few lifestyle choices, maybe they would have lived a little longer.

And I really would have liked that.

I guess my point is that when our life circumstances change, we have a choice.

We can change with them…

Or we can stay stuck in what is familiar.

And that got me thinking about downsizing.

Because downsizing—or even right-sizing—is really just another form of adapting.

And yet, even when our lives change, we can be incredibly resistant to changing with them.

We want to stay in our three-story house even though the stairs are getting harder and harder to navigate.

We keep our home on the half-acre with the gorgeous landscaping even though we’re tired of maintaining it and would rather be traveling.

We keep the house because it’s familiar and we know the neighbors, even though many of those neighbors have already sold and moved on.

We know the house.

We know the neighborhood.

We know where everything is.

And sometimes, familiar feels safer than whatever comes next.

I was thinking about this recently when my husband and I went to one of our favorite places to eat in Pigeon Forge.

My first choice is always one of their juicy hamburgers and French fries.

The last time we went, I ate the whole darn thing.

AND all of the French fries.

And then I felt miserable for the rest of the day.

Why do we do that to ourselves?

I knew my body wasn’t going to be particularly happy with all that grease. But the familiarity and nostalgia of having that hamburger got in the way of what I already knew would make my body feel better.

And honestly?

We do the same thing in life.

We get so comfortable with what we know that we sometimes convince ourselves that holding onto it is the same thing as being happy.

Think about the house you’ve lived in for decades.

It’s where your kids grew up.

It’s where you had countless Christmas dinners and Easter egg hunts.

It’s where your kids learned to ride their bikes.

It’s where they played in the dirt in the backyard.

It’s where birthdays happened.

Where holidays happened.

Where life happened.

Of course you’re attached to it.

But sometimes we become so determined to hold onto the past that we cheat ourselves out of new experiences.

If I am ever blessed to have grandchildren, I don’t want to be so tied to a house that I don’t get to spend real, quality time with them.

I don’t want to stress about making sure my house is clean enough or that we have enough room for everyone to stay.

I don’t want to be the one preparing the holiday dinner by myself while everyone else is enjoying the company.

No shade to anyone who loves to cook…

That’s just not me. LOL! 😂

I would rather find an awesome Airbnb in some new place.

I want to go on hikes in the forest with my children and grandchildren.

I want to take them to a sports game.

I want to travel with them.

I want to make new memories spending time with them—not spend all my energy trying to recreate the old ones.

And maybe that's the part we get wrong about our homes.

We try so hard to hold onto the house because we believe the house is what holds the memories.

But it doesn't.

The memories are in us.

We remember things that have meaning to us.

I bet you have a memory of some random day that you did something fun.

Maybe you don't think about that day all the time.

But then you smell something.

Or see an old photograph.

Or hear a song.

And suddenly, you're right back there.

You remember who was there.

You remember what you were doing.

You remember how you felt.

And I bet you don't need to own the house where it happened to remember it.

The house was simply the setting.

You are the one who carries the memory.

Maybe that's what adapting really means.

It doesn't mean forgetting where we've been.

It doesn't mean giving up the things that mattered.

It means recognizing that our lives are changing—and allowing ourselves to change with them.

Maybe the house that was perfect for raising a family isn't the house that's perfect for the life we want now.

And that's okay.

Because downsizing isn't really about giving up your past.

It's about making room for your future.

And personally, I don't want to spend the next chapter of my life sitting in a rocking chair looking at everything I've already done.

I want to be out there living.

I want to hike.

I want to travel.

I want to ride bikes.

I want to watch sports.

I want to laugh with my kids.

And, if I'm lucky enough to get the chance, I want to make some really amazing new memories with my grandchildren.

Because maybe getting older isn't about holding onto the life we've already lived.

Maybe it's about learning how to adapt so we can fully enjoy the life that's still ahead of us.

If you've been wondering whether your home still fits the life you want to live, you don't have to make a decision today. Sometimes the first step is simply talking it through. I'm always happy to help you look at your options and figure out what makes sense for your next chapter.

FAQs

Q: How do I know if it's time to downsize my home?
A: Start by asking whether your home still fits the way you live today. Maintenance, stairs, unused rooms, yard work, and the amount of time your home requires can all be signs that your needs have changed.

Q: Does downsizing mean giving up memories?
A: No. Your memories aren't stored in the house itself. Photos, stories, smells, traditions and experiences can keep those memories alive even after you move.

Q: What is right-sizing a home?
A: Right-sizing means choosing a home that better fits your current lifestyle, needs and future plans. It doesn't necessarily mean moving into the smallest possible home.

Q: Is downsizing only for seniors?
A: No. Empty nesters, retirees, widows and widowers, people who want less maintenance, and homeowners simply ready for a different lifestyle may all benefit from right-sizing.

Q: Where should I start if I'm considering downsizing in Knoxville or East Tennessee?
A: Start with your lifestyle rather than your house. Think about how you spend your time, what you enjoy doing, what parts of your home have become burdensome, and what you want your next chapter to look like.